Sunday, February 26, 2006

Music In Me

Yeah, I'm going to use Lynn's game again and see if I can stump Jo Jo, at least. ha! But, if you haven't heard Rascal Flatts new song "What Hurts The Most" or seen the video--OMG, I highly reccomend it. That isn't the song I chose for below, but I am obsessed with the song and am listening to it a lot as I delve into this damned black moment. The video, will make you cry. But you have to pay very close attention to it to know just what is going on the first time around. Teeth are bugging me, so haven't really did anything too productive. In fact, most of what I wrote will more than likely go to the scrap pile. The man did buy me a new file cabinet and a PC cart so that I can take the desktop out of one daughter's room and control it more. I have to completely rehaul it because they went to a lot of gaming sites and downloaded a ton of crap. erg. The Rules: 1. Take the lyrics to a favorite song. 2. Go to Babelfish, translate the lyrics into German, then from German to French, and finally from French back into English. 3.Post the results verbatim. 4. Invite friends to guess the song based on the interesting new lyrics. The Song: All it is that I wanted, which especially to be, something which them eyes, right for it moment holily is, at your side its thinks slightly grassement and luminous sometimes me that you never understand, I am perhaps time this one for always, say that all can be that is which it to want, something which especially to be, somebody who is precisely holy for one moment in your life, at my side warmly and luminous sound I think sometimes that you' ll never includes me, that however something is me explained together, we' D fortunately Happy guessing!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Changed my mind....

Just in case there are eyes or ears in the corn field of this blog...I'm changing the original post and will be back shortly with something that Shannon did on her blog once I calm down. Sorry Eileen, didn't meant to delete your comment. You were dead on. Rae UPDATED: Current Clothing: Jeans, an Ohio State hoodie, and socks Current Hair: Ask me tomorrow when I get it fixed. It's I guess kinda like a 70's shag with curls. :( IOW, it sucks! Current Mood: Bitchy. My mouth is tiny and the molds were too big and they cut into my gums and made me sore on top of the infection that was already there. Current Annoyance: Everything. Current Avoidance: Microsoft Word. Emails. Deciding what to make for dinner that I can't eat. Current Smell: the cigarette I'm smoking so I don't kill anyone. '-) Current Thing You Ought to be Doing: Editing. Writing. Working. Being a mom. Cleaning up after messy Sunny. Current Thing or Things on Your Wall: I'm in the dining room, so, a mirror on the one wall in between the windows. A Home Interior picture of a barn in a field. A cabinet in the wall that holds all the school pictures and assorted candids. And on the other wall is a china cabinet filled with old china my grandma recently passed down to me and then Sunny's cage is up against the last wall. She has feathers and bird seed all over the place and I need to clean it up. Current IM person You’re Talking to: Jo Jo Current Jewelry: engagement shiny, pink & blue stoned ring on the right hand, hoops in my ears and my H pendant with a white gold angel upon the gold H. Current Book: Writing—rewriting Last Thing I Wanted and jotting down notes for Last Thing I Needed Your turn!

Monday, February 20, 2006

Pet Peeves

My kids don't have school today. (insert sobbing here ) So, since I won't have much quiet time unless I go hide in the basement somewhere, which wouldn't be a bad idea except that it's freezing down there. So, what is my pet peeve? My little brother. Love him dearly. Would do just about anything for him. Do I get to see him much? Nope. Do I get to see my nephew much? Nope. He and his wife came to our house Sat night after a diaster of a birthday dinner for my grandmother. We were going to play cards, something that we haven't played together in ages. His wife is a sore loser. But she wasn't so bad lsat night. My little brother walked into my house, sat on my couch and immediately picked up my laptop and started going to sites that well, have a ton of pop-ups and are bogged down with media. He likes to watch cartoons of the gross type and listen to stupid shit. What bothers me most is that he doesn't ask. That would bother me in and of itself IF he hadn't passworded his computer long ago while he had MY printer ( he borrowed it ) and I could not get in there to print something I needed. Now, granted, this was years ago, but I haven't forgotten the hissy fit he threw when he found out I was trying to use his computer without asking. Every single time he comes to visit, he does this. He's even turned on a computer that was off. Does he ask? Nope. My other pet peeve with him is that if I confront him, I probably won't see him or my nephew, because he tends to pout. The third pet peeve that I have with him is this. He has friends. I have friends too. Are my friends my life? No. They are not. My "family" is. I love my friends dearly, but when it comes to family, no matter how badly they treat me, I always make them a priority. Now, I may joke with some of my online friends and Dee's Moo calls me Auntie Rae. Does she refer to me as this every day. Perhaps. Does Moo see me? No. Does Moo see me more than his Aunt Pet? No. My nephew sees his "Uncles and Aunts" ie their friends more than he sees me. The same with his "grandma's and grandpa's" he's collected. And it bugs the hell out of me when his parents refer to their friends as aunts and uncles. Off of my brother now, and onto some family members who think that me selling a couple of books is going to: a.) entitle them to never have to do their laundry again--I guess I'm going to buy them a maid service b.) buy them a brand new Mustang & a Hummer--I'm going to buy myself a car first. My mother and grandmother have plans for money I haven't even made yet! Final pet peeve and I promise I shall go someplace else... Friends who only bother with you when they need something. I have this friend. We used to be the very best of friends. She has threatened to blackmail me someday with the knowledge she has on me since we've been friends and honestly, there isn't much blackmail because well, I'm not that bad. I've done things that most of you reading this has done. So, whatever she thinks she has on me...this person never calls me unless she needs someone to watch her daughter or she needs money. Now, by money, I mean for a charity deal or she is having some sort of party. She called me three times today. ( Sunday ) starting this afternoon. She didn't say why the first time and I figured since the kids were off tomorrow that she would need a baby sitter. So, I let the answering machine catch it. The second time, she may've told me what she wanted, but the message got erased. The third time it was her daughter and my daughter answered the phone. She was having a party. A party in which I would go to at a moment's notice and purchase something so that she could acquire points and well get free stuff. Now, did she just decide this morning when she woke up to invite me or do you think I was an oversight? I think I was an oversight. I think she forgot about me until the last minute and thought, I'll call Rae and she'll come because she always pulls through. Rae didn't. What are some of your pet peeves?

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Breathe, just breathe

I don't know what it is about songs with the word Breathe in them that make so much sense to me. I love them. There's the one by Faith Hill and the newer one Breathe ( 2 am ) by Anna Nalick. This evening, I heard the one by Anna malice as I watched Grey's Anatomy. I admit that up until last week, I really hadn't watched this show. Now, before you throw rotten tomatoes at me, the man of the house usually has the remote and I'm busy doing my other job. The previews intrigued me so much for the "Code Black" episode that I had to tune in. Can you say hooked? Can you say love at first sight? Can you say I just pre-ordered the DVD coming out on Valentine's Day of their very first season? Wow. I won't post any spoilers, but I have been looking for a show like this. I miss FRIENDS every damned Thursday. Okay, so they aren't that much alike, but they kinda are for me. Anyhow, I was feeling sorry for myself the last couple of days. Why? Because the story that I love, the one that should've been a semi-easy fix...wasn't. This story is very near and dear to my heart because it got my creative juices flowing. It gave me hope at one time. But...I did the unthinkable. I let other people into this story. What do I mean? Does the phrase too many cooks spoil the broth mean anything to you? There was a time when I was very insecure about my writing and I needed praise and tons of feedback. Why? I wanted to make sure that I was doing it right. Okay, so there might not be a law against that or any type of set rule that says don't show others your work. Don't ask for that critique. Don't ask for help. But I took it to a whole new level. By the way, I am still extremely insecure about my writing. That hasn't changed with the sale of two books. And to be honest, I'm not sure it will ever change. The level I took was this and let me just say that it was wrong. Anything and I mean anything that someone told me to change--if they'd recently gotten a request--I did it. I changed lines, I changed expressions, I changed dialogue and settings. If they had a better way of saying something and suggested that I used it--I did it. If I questioned something, you know what I told myself? I told myself that they were the ones getting the requests so they had to know what the hell they were talking about, and I did what they wanted me too. Where did this lead me? It lead me to this conversation with an editor on the phone. "Rae, I was reading your story and things were flowing and making complete sense and then all of the sudden...honestly, I asked myself where in the hell that came from. Your voice changes in this story like none I've ever seen." I had a lightbulb moment. Too damned bad it had to happen while an editor was on the phone with me. I was mortified. I was pissed. I was stoic. And I was graceful when I explained to Miss Editor why. Okay, so perhaps graceful isn't the word I'm looking for. But I didn't freak out or sound like I was freaking out even though that's exactly what I was doing on the inside. Professional is the word I was looking for as I type this. And that segue's me into something cool. Desire Author Heidi Betts is starting a Q & A in the morning on It's called: The Care and Feeding of Editors. I leave you with the first few lines of Anna Nalick's song as I listen to her and start rewriting this story my way. I finally know what I need to do to make this the best story I know how. My characters are pleased and as long as they're happy the words flow freely. Night and day. This is a good song for my hero and heroine. 2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake, Can you help me unravel my latest mistake, I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes Like they have any right at all to criticize, Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason' Cause you can't jump the track,we're like cars on a cable And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table No one can find the rewind button girl, So cradle your head in your hands And breathe, just breathe, Woah breathe, just breathe